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BittersweetI don't want it to be up to me.
So much emotion and meaning, conveyed in just nine short words.
So little, and yet, so much.
But, do you truly understand?
I do not understand myself, my emotions, or why I have this daily façade.
-such is this, a fake life-
So how can you?
-a mask of falseness-
I do not think you do.
Because, have you ever let your mind wander,
Wondering what it would be like to kill or to be killed?
To feel a knife carve through flesh and bone of another being?
-Ripping the tissue and vessels of their muscle-
To see the crimson lifeblood of another drying on your own skin?
-the drops splattered all across you-
Or perhaps, what it is like to feel flames lick your body leaving a twisted and charred path in their wake.
Or to experience what it is like to have your lungs fill with water, suffocating every cell that holds you together?
What about our society?
Or Humans in general.
Have you ever let your thoughts drift, realizing how we are paras
It's always like this.
Can't you see?
I just want someone to be there.
You say that they are proud of me.
But how do I know that is true?
How am I sure it's not a ploy?
I'm tired of the uncertainty,
I'm sick of the masks.
I want to belong.
I want to be me.
But I don't know me.
This bitter-sweet logic.
I can't even put my feelings to words,
let alone this poem.
Sometimes I wonder.
Who am I truly?
You say I know the answer.
But truth is, I don't.
Depressing Poetry --Can't you see through the front I put on every day?
Don't you realize it's just a façade?
The me that is true is broken,
I'm not insane, but I'm not exactly sane either.
Caught in between,
A me I'm not sure of,
A me that I don't even know.
Who am I?
What do I represent?
Questions like that fuel my thoughts each day.
I need help, I can feel it.
The me that you know,
It's not real.
A fictional character from the back of my mind: -----.
The dried salty tears that ran down my cheeks sting,
the sensation dull.
I push through the sadness,
the hate of me,
fictional pixels lifting my spirits like no-one I know can.
Heh, It's stupid isn't it?
Music to meCalming, these captivating melodies,
The rhythm has me swaying,
and pushed keys,
and blown flutes,
The harmony of the orchestra,
In tune to a clear voice.
Transport me to another place,
Away from the troubles,
The worries and stress,
To a place where the sound washes over me.
Relaxing my mind,
Soothing my soul,
A harbinger of peace
In my own little sanctuary of bliss.
For each beat has me moving,
and each verse has me singing
as though it's a trance.
Nothing but the symphony resounding around me,
Just like an addiction,
It has me hooked for life.
Inside MeThese people inside me,
All voice their opinions,
But I'm alone,
I show a fake smile,
And go on with my day.
Buried within these personalities,
Where is the true me?
Why?Why do I try to make my world right?
Why don't I let it all pass by?
Every minute I'm changing,
Every second I'm blaming,
Myself and the people inside.
TheWorldThey hide their pain,
For our sake,
But there is one thing I'd like to know,
One thing I'd like to see,
How is it that they represent you and me?
For every squabble,
and every change,
It always ends the same.
Pain and loss on both sides,
We should all be ashamed.
Peace is something to be learned,
The Uninvited Guest A boy about eighteen crouched, hidden in the ferns and undergrowth of a dark, dense,
tropical forest. His emerald eyes scanned the area for any slight movement. Finding none other than what was natural, he released the breath he didn't know he was holding. He knew they were going to come back for him, they hunted him endlessly. Ever since that one time.
Sighing again the boy stood up, looked around once again, and took off into the night. He didn't have the vaguest idea of where he was going. Only that he needed to get as far away from that place as possible. It had always been like this, ever since he could remember.
"Of course." A voice breathed. Sighing, a boy, around sixteen, looked up from the book he was reading, "It's almost cliché." Sometimes I ask myself why I read books like this but I figure in a dull, modern life like mine, dreaming is all you have. Glancing at the clock he decided it was time to get g
Russia x Reader: Oblivious(Name) sighed. Where was her notebook? No, it wasn't a drawing notebook or anything of the sort, it was her math notebook, and she would be heading to math soon. As she continued to dig in her (f/c) bag she didn't notice someone coming up behind her and poking her. Turning around, she spotted Ivan with a confused expression.
"(Name)? What's wrong?" he asked.
"I can't find my math notebook and I don't have much time.." (Name) muttered, putting the contents of her bag back.
"I'll help you, da?" he smiled innocently.
"Thank you, Ivan." (Name) smiled, at least she was getting help, and the more the merrier, right?
--- Around.. 20 minutes later.. ---
(Name) groaned, "No Ivan! He didn't steal my notebook! Please put him down!" she shouted and then sighed. This was the 4th time that Ivan tried to harass someone for their math notebook.
Ivan put the poor boy who he had been holding by the collar down, "But his notebook looks like the one you lost, da?" He asked, gesturing to the notebook the b
RussiaXReader - New neighborThe day was a sunny, cold morning of october. You had just moved into that town, thanks to your father's work. Everything there was new, even the language. Why did they choose a country wich language you didin't speak?!
In that moment you hated them. Your parents had dared to take you away from everything you had known. Your friends, your school, your city, your country...
You were out for a walk nearby your old, big new house. The autumn made everything seem orange. You kicked a small amount of leaves in the ground. The sound made you giggle a little, that one thing you would always love, no matter where would you be. there was a little river ahead, with a stone, white bridge on top of it. Your friends use to throw coins over bridges to get wishes. You knew that was silly, but it was a memory you never would erase.
Looking down at the water on the bridge, you felt your face heat up as tears almost fell off you eyes. In the reflex you seen a shadow come next to you, a hand l
Russia X Reader ~ A Not as Lonely ChristmasRussia X Reader ~ A Not as Lonely Christmas
You sighed. It was Christmas and you had nobody to share it with. Last year you had with your sister,but she left and moved to New York leaving you in Russia all alone. You walked onward toward the park. It was lightly snowing, snow was common in Russia in winter. You smiled and brushed off some snow from a park bench. You sat down and smiled even though you felt lonesome.
You looked around and saw a pretty little cardinal poking at some berries. You watched happily and didn't notice someone approching. You turned around when a hand touched your shoulder. It was a man with silvery blond hair,purple eyes and he wore a thick winter coat and a silk scarf.
"May I sit here?",he asked. "S-sure...",you said. "Thanks, you look nice da...",he said sitting down. "T-thanks....I am ______ _______",you said blushing. "I am Ivan.",he said. "Nice to meet you.",you said looking away. "So, why are you here alone? Dont you have anyone to spend this lovely Chri
Request- RussiaxReaderYou stared slack-jawed at the broken stalks of sunflowers that lay underneath your wrecked bicycle. This was bad. Very, very bad.
Forget about how your bike was utterly useless now and how blood was trickling down your cheek and arm. You knew whose house this was, and if you were caught here surrounded by the ruined flowers, you'd be more than a bit bloodied and bruised.
The flowers which you'd just killed belonged to the one and only Ivan Braginski.
"Dearest mother and father in heaven above, please save me." you said into the sky. Never mind that both of your parents were both alive and able-bodied, you were too worried for your life to care.
You scrambled to your feet and picked up your bike, momentarily examining the crooked front wheel before attempting to make a quick escape.
"Where are you thinking that you are going?" sounded an eerily calm voice
Any thoughts you had about running away dissolved at the sight of Ivan.
"N-nowhere. Just to... come and
DarkER!Russia x Reader :DAnother World Meeting was in session, and for once every country had made it in on time. You were the country of ___, and since the only open seats were beside Russia, that was where you sat. Of course, you didn't mind. Who wouldn't want to sit beside a big Russian teddy-bear? You just couldn't understand why everyone was afraid of him.
"Hello Russia!~" you smiled and said in a sing-songy voice.
"Hello, ___~" Russia returned your smile, but he didn't feel like smiling at all. On the inside, his stomach was churning with disgust. In all truth, he hated you. He hated the way you were never afraid of him. He hated that he didn't have to threaten you to make you act so nice to him. He hated that you were always so bright and happy. He hated that you could smile a genuine smile, and he had to fake one. He hated how you were always so nice to everyone from the moment you met them.
Some could say he envied you. Maybe he did. Either way, he wanted you gone. By then he had come up with multiple
RussiaxReader You Still AreBeautiful
That's something I used to be.
That's something I used to be.
Something I used to be.
Just another thing I used to be.
-------- ---------- --------------
I looked in the mirror and straightened my top. This was going to be hell, a whole new school, a whole new chance at life, a whole new group of people who may actually talk to me. But with how I was now. Who would want to? I looked in my jewelry box and sighed, I couldn't wear any necklace at all. I grabbed a scarf off of my dresser and sighed, this would hide everything I needed it too. Too bad it did nothing for style in the middle of the summer.
I wrapped it tightly around my neck so I wouldn't have to continuously press against the front of it. I wished I could sigh without it hurting but I just couldn't. I shook my head and grabbed my back-pack and left.
----- ------- -------------
I walked into the school to many curious eyes, but I kept my head down. I wouldn't meet anyone's eyes. I couldn'
RussiaxReader: Trapped Part 1
In the midst of it all, you were wondering why the heck you had decided to go to Russia. You had been planning a trip to Europe for a while, working and adding money to the trip funding.
However, at the last minute, you decided to go to Russia.
And dammit, you were regretting it.
Having been born and raised in the southern United States, you were used to the warm, sunny climate and the long summer days. In Russia, it was the exact opposite, and you hadn't been anticipating it. The days were short and you were freezing your butt off. No, freezing wasn't a strong enough word for it. Something beyond that, something that wasn't right for words. It would be a miracle to see the sun again. You missed the summer days when the nice breezes would overlap the heat just perfectly, and the way the sun would shine whenever there was a football game.
However, you had to admit the trip was actually kind of fun.
Exclude the freezing nights spent under piles of blankets and desperate attempts to stay
[RussiaxReader] Only Your Warmth Can Save Me Ch. 5
I shouldn't be this hard to pull yourself from Ivan's friendly embrace. It shouldn't be this hard to force your feet to shuffle away in a different direction. It shouldn't be causing you nearly-physical pain to leave him there, staring after you. It shouldn't be costing you this much effort to restrain yourself from turning back and sprinting into Ivan's arms, to press your lips against his and then whisper three, truthful words
But it is that hard. It is costing you so much.
In the twenty-minute walk to the other, more crowded end of town, your mind locks itself in an endless conflict. You need an explanation badly, something to help you fathom why you are feeling like this. You try to understand the seemingly tangible feeling of pain caused by your separation, but you can't. You refuse to accept the glaringly obvious fact laid out in evidence before you. The ache and longing in your heart is screaming out the one thing you didn't want to consider, much less acknowledge
Some Hearts Russia x ReaderSome Hearts Russia x Reader
He felt sad when people thought that he was scary. In fact, he wanted them to like him. To be friends with him. He didn't want them to leave him, but for some reason they always do.
There she stood, right in front of him in the field with a boquet of sunflowers and a big smile. [Name] is such a cheerful young woman whose laughter is as bright as the sun. She was never scared of him and actually liked him as he is.
"I brought these sunflowers for you Russia!" [Name] extended her arms out to hand him the boquet. "You seemed a little sad so I wanted to cheer you up!" Russia's heart fluttered at [Name]'s concern for him. He blinked a couple of times and then smiled when he realized something. Russia then took the boquet in his hands.
"There's only one sunflower that I want." he said, he gently took [Name]'s hands and pulled her into a loving hug, "And that is you."
When Russia felt [Name]'s arms wrap around him, he knew that she would n
Gone - RussiaxReaderYou shivered at the absence of the warmth that was usually beside you, eyes threatening to let the tears fall once again from your reddened face. You clutched the sheets where he used to sleep, face buried in his pillow. It smelled faintly of vodka and what could only be described as him.
"I miss you." You mumbled, "Please... please come home soon, Ivan"
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More